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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Shawntheimmortal94Male/United States Recent Activity
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Where do I start? This story is...stupid,laughably bad,and most of all disappointing in my opinion because...wow,okay so Jane was creat...

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Fan girls like Jeff for two reasons and I've noticed it in most of the comments about his story 1)he was bullied and we all know how that is a serious topic but fan girls just treat it as a trope called "Woobie" a character who had a hard life and his story makes you feel sorry for that character that fans pair themselves with them being that"Special person"that can "save him" and become that one person that is most important to them and they would do anything for them*Cough*Marysue*Cough* 2) All fan art(mainly the yaoi)nuff said but here's my problem with the story,when fans read the part where he gets bullied that's the only thing they care about,seriously the fact that he killed his entire family is completely ignored because he was bullied even though he fought back and wasn't under any suffering,seriously we don't know anything about Jeff's character before he went crazy,what was he like? Since he can fight does that mean he grew up in a bad neighborhood? What does he look like?(I know the fan art but in the original story we get no descriptions of who he is but we are suppose to accept that he just went crazy for no reason!)These questions are never answered in the original story and the only thing we know is he's a killer and the picture is the only thing we have to tell what he looks like but these don't matter all that matters to the fan girls is that he was bullied and that's it,bullying can lead to murder and even psychological issues but that doesn't explain why he cares so much about being"Beautiful"(And I will never get how someone can look at him and say he's "beautiful" "sexy" "cute" fan girls ugh!)We never take a look inside his head and get explained why he does what he does well okay you could say he was just insane but it's so rushed that it seems to me the author just wanted to end the story as soon as possible,the story is just a mess that could have been better and had potential but what really bothers me is that Fan girls like this guy who killed his entire family! Did they forget that!? Then again someone defended him by saying"He was bullied so killing his family was understandable"I mean really!? It's a fandom I get it you can do whatever you want with that but with all the fans of Slenderman trying to kill their friends and families just to be with him it truly frightens me that one day a fan of Jeff will kill their family just to be like Jeff or Try to actually look like Jeff,soon we'll hear on the news that some idiot tried to cut a smile into their face and try to cut or burn their eyelids and their body is found dead with all these fatal cuts...Children read these kinds of stories and parents don't tell them the difference between fiction and reality but even then these kids idolize these FAKE characters and go out there to get their "attention"...I'm really scared that some idiot will do something to hurt someone in the name of these characters...two kids planned to murder their friend and stabbed her then left her in the woods to die...A girl burned her house down with her mother and baby brother in it and they both wanted to go to Slenderman's mansion,I'm glad that these people survived but I believe that these kids need some serious help and the fact that this happened once might mean it'll happen again,I love Creepypasta but I hate what some fans do when they read these stories...2015...here's hoping these idiots get a little smarter and the parents get more involved because shit like this shouldn't happen...it shouldn't but I know there are fans that enjoy these stories for entertainment and write their own stories based on these characters(Like myself one with Sally and the other Jeff)I just hope no one else will get hurt because of these stories and live in reality and parents make time for their kids so they won't end up like those fucking idiots! Live in reality people it'll save your life But this is my opinion
Its been 6 months since I signed up to deviant Art! WOOHOO! I'm so glad I decided to be a part of this website and I'm glad to make so many friends here and I'm thankful for their comments on my stories and I love seeing their stuff also but it's been a while since my last story and trust me I'm going to write another one buuuuuuuut Skyrim is so addicting! But I'll make time to write more stories and I ask that you give me a honest review because I want to get better at writing stories and constructive criticism makes a writer grow to be better,anyway I'm glad to be apart of this and I'm going to do my best from now on! More creepypastas! More OC's(NO MARY SUES!!!!!!!!!!!)I hope to do even more in this site and I hope my fellow deviants will help me and point out what I'm doing wrong and how to become better,I welcome your comments and I will reply back! Anyway this has been awesome and I will write more stories when I can i just*Pulls away from Skyrim*Need...To stay*Struggling*Away! From! Skyrim! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!*Plays Skyrim*
Where do I start? This story is...stupid,laughably bad,and most of all disappointing in my opinion because...wow,okay so Jane was created through science,I can understand that but...she was made into an unstoppable killer so she can kill Jeff and the people doing this to her are the U.s government,the police,F.B.I,and C.I.A who did this experiment that not only was funded by our government at the cost of 6.9 million dollars(Which lets be honest is stupid because instead of using that money to help people they use it on making the perfect killer)But one that killed many people...so the government has killed people to make this experiment work but now has Jane on the loose(who is now over-powered )so she can kill Jeff...I'd like to remind everyone that Jeff.is.HUMAN! In the story he is human not some super villain who can kill you just by looking at you,he is as human as you and me(Considering the fact that he's still alive from cutting a smile to his mouth and burning his eyelids off and that's just Bullshit writing)And you're telling me that the police and all their men and women on the force couldn't stop this one guy that they need to involve scientist and the government,Jeff is human no what anybody says and he isn't some calculating killer that is five steps ahead of you he is an insane lunatic that gets off from killing,he was burned alive and snapped by killing his entire family because he lost his mind...back to Jane,Jane the killer was introduced to me through the Creepypasta Jeff vs Jane(Which I believe is a good story)And I wanted to know more about her because someone is actually trying to kill Jeff instead of trying to fuck him(Looking at you fan girls)And I liked her character because she was on a mission for revenge to kill the asshole who killed her parents and I love revenge stories and I liked the fact that she wanted Jeff dead by any means necessary and when I heard that she had a kid with Jeff I wanted to know what was going to happen next but sadly I haven't heard anything...then I read the "real"story which was a piece of garbage that almost ruined the character...and that's it I thought that I would hear no more Jane the killer stories...then read this and I Not going to lie I laughed my ass off when I read this and I'm sorry but I couldn't take any of these characters seriously,I mean Jane was given a life,she had a job she had to pay rent which made her feel human and relatable because after her parents were killed she still tried to look after her sister and try to have a normal life,Which by the way thinking about Jane the killer in an IHOP is hilarious but still good because she's supporting herself and her sister through hard times,this is what I want to read about,Jane having a normal life despite everything that's happened and she's not depressed or crying every few seconds she stands on her own two feet and does what she has to do to take care of her only family,that's the story I want to read because that.is.AWESOME! this story had me when I read that and...I wanted to know more...however things start to get stupid...okay so,Jane is forced to go through an experiment that almost killed her which by the way is funded by the government to kill one guy who's insane not Joker insane but IN.SANE,he doesn't plan things he's a killer Thats it and the police couldn't find or arrest him(again he's human,just some guy with a knife against cops with GUNS and they couldn't use THEM!? "Never bring a knife to a gun fight" must mean shit if you're fighting Jeff the killer...and the Government wastes millions to make the perfect killer...and we all know that always works out! Wolverine he...killed all the scientist...which is the same thing Jane did...Huh...well there is captain America who was made to fight hydra with the help of the super solider syrum which made him a super hero and stronger than normal humans and Jane had the liquid hate that...made her stronger than normal humans...Huh...anyway this story made Jane into...a comic book character or anime or any other types of fiction,I will give credit to the "real" story because despite all the mary-sue bullshit she was still human which made her relatable,she wants revenge on Jeff because he killed her family and friends,I'm not saying this always happens I'm saying that we can understand why she's doing what she's doing however this story made Jane WAAAAAAAY too Over powered that if there's a sequel to to this story it will end the second Jane finds Jeff all she has to do is grab him and kill him because if bullets don't phase her what are the chances of a killer with a knife stopping her? None! Jane can now easily kill Jeff in two seconds,Jane has a healing factor and is super strong and Jeff?...He has a knife that's it! Jane wins! End of story! This made Jeff vs Jane pointless because she will win with all that power and I thought Slenderman vs Jeff was ridiculous...it is and this story made a fight that jeff can't possibly win,Slenderman can kill you just by looking at you and now Jane is super powered...these fights aren't equal,you want an equal fight? Freedy vs Jason is an equal fight an immortal zombie vs an immortal Demon that is equal not this...I'm sorry for rambling but I needed to make a point...this story has destroyed any suspense that a fight between Jeff and this Jane the killer would have,the one in Mr.creepypasta is equal and you don't know who will win until it's over and it's a great story maybe MBK will make a Jeff vs Jane also and I can bet anything that it will be a great story also but this? I'm sorry but no...no,this story can't have a jeff vs Jane because it'll be over fast unless some bullshit happens that make Jeff the ultimate badass...Mr.angrydog I'm sorry and I'm sure you worked hard but this is not the Jane the killer story I wanted to read if maybe you stretched out what happened to Jane after her parents were killed and her struggles to live her life after everything that's happened and in the end decided to stand up and kill that son of a bitch without the whole over powered stuff this would have been an awesome story...but this is my opinion
Working on new story please look forward to it,until then please check out my other Stories and give me an honest review,thank you
Idea from:jazzminth22.deviantart.com/
The bruises on their skin will heal but the scars in their heart won't  

A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take out a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it and really mess it up, not to rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they're sorry. Now, even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they're sorry, but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home. Copy and paste this if you are against bullying.Let's see who will actually re-post this. This is a test to see who's paying attention. This is a test to see how many people list actually pay attention. Copy and re-post in your own journal. Let's see who the real people are. Re-post this if you care about this kind of situation. Don't reply... just copy and paste this in a new bulletin as "Fake Deviants"repost from:
Fan girls like Jeff for two reasons and I've noticed it in most of the comments about his story 1)he was bullied and we all know how that is a serious topic but fan girls just treat it as a trope called "Woobie" a character who had a hard life and his story makes you feel sorry for that character that fans pair themselves with them being that"Special person"that can "save him" and become that one person that is most important to them and they would do anything for them*Cough*Marysue*Cough* 2) All fan art(mainly the yaoi)nuff said but here's my problem with the story,when fans read the part where he gets bullied that's the only thing they care about,seriously the fact that he killed his entire family is completely ignored because he was bullied even though he fought back and wasn't under any suffering,seriously we don't know anything about Jeff's character before he went crazy,what was he like? Since he can fight does that mean he grew up in a bad neighborhood? What does he look like?(I know the fan art but in the original story we get no descriptions of who he is but we are suppose to accept that he just went crazy for no reason!)These questions are never answered in the original story and the only thing we know is he's a killer and the picture is the only thing we have to tell what he looks like but these don't matter all that matters to the fan girls is that he was bullied and that's it,bullying can lead to murder and even psychological issues but that doesn't explain why he cares so much about being"Beautiful"(And I will never get how someone can look at him and say he's "beautiful" "sexy" "cute" fan girls ugh!)We never take a look inside his head and get explained why he does what he does well okay you could say he was just insane but it's so rushed that it seems to me the author just wanted to end the story as soon as possible,the story is just a mess that could have been better and had potential but what really bothers me is that Fan girls like this guy who killed his entire family! Did they forget that!? Then again someone defended him by saying"He was bullied so killing his family was understandable"I mean really!? It's a fandom I get it you can do whatever you want with that but with all the fans of Slenderman trying to kill their friends and families just to be with him it truly frightens me that one day a fan of Jeff will kill their family just to be like Jeff or Try to actually look like Jeff,soon we'll hear on the news that some idiot tried to cut a smile into their face and try to cut or burn their eyelids and their body is found dead with all these fatal cuts...Children read these kinds of stories and parents don't tell them the difference between fiction and reality but even then these kids idolize these FAKE characters and go out there to get their "attention"...I'm really scared that some idiot will do something to hurt someone in the name of these characters...two kids planned to murder their friend and stabbed her then left her in the woods to die...A girl burned her house down with her mother and baby brother in it and they both wanted to go to Slenderman's mansion,I'm glad that these people survived but I believe that these kids need some serious help and the fact that this happened once might mean it'll happen again,I love Creepypasta but I hate what some fans do when they read these stories...2015...here's hoping these idiots get a little smarter and the parents get more involved because shit like this shouldn't happen...it shouldn't but I know there are fans that enjoy these stories for entertainment and write their own stories based on these characters(Like myself one with Sally and the other Jeff)I just hope no one else will get hurt because of these stories and live in reality and parents make time for their kids so they won't end up like those fucking idiots! Live in reality people it'll save your life But this is my opinion

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Shawntheimmortal94

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:icondark-nynx:
Dark-Nynx Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  Student Writer
Sorry if I sound worried, but are you okay, you've been give for a bit, still playing games?
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:iconshawntheimmortal94:
Shawntheimmortal94 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Yup and I've been thinking up a new story to write,it's stupid but I think I can do it,I'm going to...Write my own Jeff the killer origin!
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:icondark-nynx:
Dark-Nynx Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  Student Writer
Cool.
Reply
:icontroyrich93:
troyrich93 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Hobbyist
Hey.
Reply
:iconshawntheimmortal94:
Shawntheimmortal94 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hrm? Hey
Reply
:icontroyrich93:
troyrich93 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Hobbyist
I'm ok. So whatcha doing?
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:iconshawntheimmortal94:
Shawntheimmortal94 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Nothing
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:icondark-nynx:
Dark-Nynx Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Student Writer
Hey Shawn, making new journal, reply using the new one, something is wrong with the one we are using now.
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:iconshawntheimmortal94:
Shawntheimmortal94 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Okay
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:icondemoncrona:
demonCrona Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
(THe clumsiness is real..... I didn't get to finish)

Jack and his family adopted me before he lost his eyes and when he did I stuck with him sooo I being they way I am today
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